Self-Mastery Goes Before Any Mastery
To achieve effective communication and elevate relationships to a deeper and more meaningful level, you must understand the behaviours and psychological constructs of others and your own. This does not necessarily mean you need to become a psychology expert or have formal education in this arena, though it would be helpful.
Simply, the process of interacting with people always requires energy. What generates the energy? Movements. In this context, movements encompass not only the dynamics and actions we display as we interact with the outside world but also what is going on within our inner world. If we liken ourselves to engineers, we need to understand the fundamental rules and basic principles in order to design and engineer the solutions to the complex problems in our relationships. As connection happens between two individuals, a good command of the psychology and behaviours on both ends is critical.
First thing first, before working on the relationship with others, you should start with the inner work on and for yourself. Your connections come through you and should serve you well. It all starts with you. Using the previous project management analogy, you are responsible for these bonds from conception, design, construction and maintenance (plus disposal if applicable to any). Not only do you need to be clear about who you are, what you value and stand for and what you want to achieve in your life, you also need to be highly conscious of where you stand in the spectrum of the essential skills and mindset for building connections.
Regarding the mindset, it refers to a series of self-perceptions and beliefs you hold that shape your behaviours, outlooks and mental attitudes. “It is your attitude, more than your aptitude, that will determine your altitude.” I’ve always liked and refer to this famous quote of Zig Ziglar in support of the notion that mindset always comes before skill set in the ranking of success determinants. Recognizing, understanding and managing yourself behaviourally and mentally are self-mastery which gives you control over the one thing you can control in any given situation: yourself. Self-mastery over your own thoughts, emotions, words and actions can totally transform yourself as well as the results in any area of your life, be it mastering a language or connecting with people from a different culture.\
Good self-awareness and self-mastery lays a foundation for understanding and command of other people’s emotions, beliefs, values, goals with the aim of fostering the bond. Excellent emotional mastery of both oneself and other people is a defining character of Multilingual Connectors. Essentially, what we think of as emotion is the experience of energy moving through the body which is the key ingredient that can make or break a connection.
